#13 "Red"

Blue, It was completely blue.

In the small garage of my house, shutter was closed.

There was a piece of paper which was A3 in size in front of me. It was painted all blue.

Was it sea, night, sky, or mind?

Or all of them? The blue looked absorbing everything.

Silent night, the air in autumn was cold.

I was shivering in my sweater.

Cold, but my heart was beating.

It started to wind outside.

The wind struck the closed shutter.

The voice of the world was howling in the night.

It was in noon today when I was 19 that I knew that  how a flower base is broken when I punch it.

I had got an e-mail just before. It said  that I had failed to get a work as a dancer..

This was the audition I had taken two weeks before.

Depressed, I had had many times.

Because of irritation, I punched a base in my room.

The base had been broken into a piece with a big sound.

When my mother  came to my room, I stood with back of my hand bleeding.

After I had had my mother put an adhesive bandage on back of my hand, I sat in my room without thinking something for a while.

When it became evening, I saw a world map on my room's wall.

That's why,

That's why I ran out of my house and went to a store for painting materials to buy blue paint .

And then I went into the garage with the map.

I painted the map all blue.

Paint was scattered on the floor and my sweater.

Continents were all sunk into blue.

It was fine.

If I keep seeing one continent, I can't go another one.

I could hear sound of the rattling shutter.

The world was howling like shivering.

The creaking sound of the world sounded sad.

I danced with the sound, the world.

Dance, in the lonely sea, night, sky,and mind!

My feet was hopping on the floor of the garage and the blue world map.

Blue paint was not still dry, so my feet was getting blue,.

Dance, in the lonely sea, night, sky,and mind!

The wind had stopped.

The world also had stopped howling.

Only my breath and heart beating sounded in  In the garage like being in someone's womb.

I peeled off the bandage on my hand.

I saw my hand wounded.

.

A drop of blood fell on the blue world map.